How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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