So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Do you remember whose house we're in?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
