That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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