1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
They took my balls.
This is my gift to your gina
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize