She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
i out mim tonsoeep
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