Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
