I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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