this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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