from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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