when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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