But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
