im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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