You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
