so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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