She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
