U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
