You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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