I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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