I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
