he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize