Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize