He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
