So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
