Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
