should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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