the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
