Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
