Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize