his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
