O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
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