i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
