I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
