I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
