I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
