ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
how drunk are you?
Several
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
