Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
