Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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