you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
