I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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