You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
