My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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