Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
