i always forget guys have bellybuttons
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
