but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Randomize
