So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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