Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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