I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I came so hard my ears popped.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
