WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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