Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
