; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
