Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
40s are totally the cure
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
