I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
