I wannas sexs uuuuu
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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