i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
