And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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