u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
