So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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