shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
