We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
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