Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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