Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Someone came in the potted fern
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
