i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
