i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
