just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize